


For Better Or For Dessert

by JinxedAmbitions



Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 16:44:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6017050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JinxedAmbitions/pseuds/JinxedAmbitions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake has proposed to Cougar almost one hundred times, but it's never meant anything more than a free dessert to top off a good meal.  Now though, Cougar's got a ring burning a hole in his pocket, and he needs to propose to Jake before Jake can beat him to it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Better Or For Dessert

**Author's Note:**

> A quick little Valentine's Day fic I wrote this morning. I'm pretty sure the proposals for free desserts idea came from one of those tumblr prompt lists, but I can't for the life of me find it in the clutter of my blog.

Cougar had been proposed to a total of seventy-two times in seventy-two different restaurants. He had received sixty-five free desserts for the trouble of pretending to agree to marry the massive idiot across from him.

Cougar was aware that Jensen had also proposed to Pooch three times for free dessert. Pooch had only agreed twice. The first time, he looked at Jake like he was crazy and told him to fuck off. Jensen had been irate. He'd ranted for three hours about how he'd wanted to try the damn tiramisu, but Pooch had to go and ruin it with his closed mind.

Cougar had gone out and bought Jake the damn tiramisu for him the next day because even he had his limits when it came to listening to Jensen complain about stupid shit. Roque and Clay had even lower thresholds, and Jensen gorged himself on three helpings of tiramisu until he made himself sick. All the while, he refused to let Pooch even try so much as a spoonful of the decadent dessert.

Pooch had never turned down another marriage proposal from Jensen, even when he had to take his wedding band off under the table and stow it in his pocket because he was already married to Jolene.

It was for this reason that Cougar knew he had to be on his game. He'd planned this for months. He got one of his rings resized for Jensen's finger. Cougar knew plenty of weird facts about Jensen, but no he hadn't known his ring size. Yes, he had taken the measurement while Jensen was passed out on his keyboard with his fingers still in the 'home' position.

Cougar had booked the reservation at the posh restaurant Jake was always talking about trying a whole five months in advance. He'd even pulled the armed forces card, claiming that he was rarely in the states and wanted to make the night special. It wasn't a lie, but it was not something he'd _ever_ used to gain favors in his life. Jake was worth it though. Jake and his unhealthy love of swindling restaurants out of their fine desserts.

Cougar spent weeks contemplating the perfect plan of attack. Jake was spontaneous which made it difficult to determine exactly how to approach it. One time, Jensen took one look at the menu, decided he didn't want anything they had, and proposed before they'd even ordered drinks—skipping right to the fudge brownie volcano with caramel and chocolate sauces. Cougar had ordered a burger anyway and rolled his eyes as Jake tried to feed him the chocolate confection between french fries.

So, while Cougar knew Jake better than anyone else on the planet, including Jake's sister and grandmother, it still wasn't easy to plan the perfect way to propose to a man who might just propose to him as they waited to be seated.

That had happened once too. The wait had been atrocious, and Jake had dropped to one knee in the foyer and taken Cougar's hand. He'd been very theatrical about it, and after a round of applause, everyone else waiting had insisted they be seated next.

At first, Cougar hadn't been happy about Jake's schemes. He'd come from a devote Catholic family, and marriage was something to be cherished and given respect. His own parents had been married over forty years, and they were still as in love as they'd been when they first tied the knot. His sisters were all married and had beautiful families of their own. So, it had been strange to watch Jake use such an important moment in order to manipulate others to do what he wanted. But that was Jake.

For all of Jake's admirable qualities, he was—at his core—a master of manipulation. He manipulated machines and people alike. Maybe he was socially awkward, but Cougar had learned that he even used that to his advantage.

“Cougar?” Jake asked, snapping his fingers in front of his face. Cougar snatched his wrist before he could snap again. “There you are. I've been trying to tell you about my new game for like five minutes, and you were all out there in space,” Jake said, making no motion to take his hand back.

Cougar would've been unnerved or, at the very least, embarrassed by Jake catching him in a daze, but it was Jake and Cougar trusted him to have his back.

“Sorry. What were you trying to say?” Cougar asked him, giving Jake at least half of his attention—still going through plans in the back of his mind.

“I wanted you to test it out. I mean, I know it will totally float my boat, but I designed it. I need outside input,” Jake said, moving his wrist as though to tug Cougar up from his seat.

Cougar raised an eyebrow. Cougar had no idea how most of Jake's computer games worked. He barely even kept up when Jake insisted on playing Mario. Cougar was more of a reading or sex kind of free time waster.  

Jake seemed to read his mind as he sometimes did. “That's why I need you, Coug. You aren't into this stuff, so you won't be biased. If anyone is going to be a good judge of my game, then it's the guy who doesn't like games,” Jake insisted.

Cougar sighed. Sometimes being Jake's closet friend as well as his lover had its moments. He nodded though. He didn't often say no to Jake, even when Jake's requests were befuddling.

Three hours later, Cougar wasn't exactly sure what he'd just played, but it was definitely one of the strangest experiences of his life.

“How was it?” Jake asked, still perched on the bed behind Cougar.

“It was different,” Cougar said diplomatically. In truth, if Cougar didn't have firsthand knowledge that Jake Jensen was a genius he'd think he was a huge idiot.

“Different is good. I like different,” Jake said.

Cougar wasn't so much a fan of different. He liked to be able to recognize things for what they were and not some weird down-the-rabbit-hole kind of adventure. He would never tell that to Jake though. There were certain things you just didn't say to the person you went to bed with every night.

“Are you ready for dinner?” Cougar asked, turning his chair to look at Jake. His hair was hopelessly in disarray, and his glasses looked like they could use a cleaning. Jake could probably use a shower too before they went. Cougar checked his watch. They had two hours before their reservation.

“Oh...I thought...maybe...I...” Jake fumbled around his words, pulling his glasses off and cleaning them. He did that when he was nervous, which wasn't often at least as far as Cougar was concerned.

“You thought what?” Cougar asked, placing his hands on Jake's bare knees. He refused to program in anything but his boxers and a hat. Cougar had gotten used to it even if they others hadn't.

“That...you'dwanttohavesexbecausemygamemadeyouhorny,” Jake's sentence came out as one word, and Cougar was a little ashamed that he spoke Jake so fluently that he understood it on the first try.

Cougar was far from horny after the game, but that wasn't really important. “We only have two hours to get to our reservation,” Cougar told Jake.

“So, like a quickie? Shower sex? Bathtub sex? Kill two birds with one orgasm?” Jake asked, giving Cougar those big innocent eyes that Cougar couldn't say no to.

“Shower, but it will be _quick_ ,” Cougar emphasized. He wasn't about to let months of planning go up in smoke because Jake was insatiable.

“Scout's promise,” Jake said, holding up three fingers.

“That is the Girl Scouts,” Cougar pointed out, getting out of Jake's office chair and grabbing his bath supplies from his closet.

“Of course. I was Beth troop leader last year. I was never a Boy Scout. Could you even imagine?” Jake said incredulously. Sometimes, just sometimes, Cougar wondered if Jake even heard the things that came out of his own mouth.

“Come,” Cougar said, holding up the little shower carrier that was full of loofahs, conditioners, toys, and lube. Jake didn't need to be told twice, he grabbed their towels and dutifully followed Cougar into the bathroom of their shared apartment.

Jake didn't even wait until they were in the bathroom before he pounced on Cougar. Cougar expected it. After all, Jake had the impulse control of a toddler when he decided he wanted something. He could hold himself back forever, but around Cougar, Jake did what he wanted.

An hour later, Cougar had managed to get Jake off twice, clean both of them, shave, and get them both dressed in respectable clothes. It was a feat even for him, and he was sitting in the living room having a drink while Jake called his niece to wish her a happy Valentine's Day before they left.

When Jake came out of the office, he had somehow managed to make his bow-tie completely lopsided after Cougar had done it perfectly for him. Cougar didn't even comment on it, and he certainly didn't try to fix it. Jake would only fuck it up again, and that was a recipe for frustration. Instead, Cougar kissed Jake's shoulder as he helped him into his coat. He loved the way it never failed to make Jake shudder.

“So, where are we going for dinner, Coug?” Jake asked as they walked out to Cougar's Jeep.

“You will see,” Cougar told him, smiling as Jake groaned.

“You know how I feel about secrets,” Jake complained.

Cougar's smile grew wider. He knew Jake was not built for having secrets kept from him. It drove him crazy. He would spend hours trying to figure them out, searching the internet for phrases people used when the secret was mentioned. It was fascinating to watch until Jake started to get a little crazy about it. Cougar figured that the ten minute drive would be fine though. Jake would just spend most of it guessing. There was a balance to Jake that Cougar had learned to navigate flawlessly.

“I know everything about you,” Cougar told him. Jake was an open book for the most part when it came to Cougar, and they both knew it.

“You play dirty.”

Cougar nodded, opening the passenger side door for Jake and kissing him before closing it firmly. Cougar had been smart about this whole set up. He'd even phoned in the reservation on what had to be the last functioning payphone on Earth, so Jake couldn't check his call history.

Jake's jaw dropped when they pulled up in front of the quaint French restaurant. “How the hell did you get reservations here?” Jake asked, turning to look at Cougar accusingly.

Cougar grinned.

“Did you sleep with someone to get us reservations?” Jake demanded, though Cougar knew he didn't actually mean that. Cougar hadn't had sex with another person since this thing between them started. That was long before they actually said it was an exclusive arrangement. Cougar wasn't about to change that just for some free French pastries that Jake had been moaning about.

Cougar just raised an eyebrow instead of answering.

“Well, you had to do something drastic, and the only thing with that kind of power of persuasion is your penis,” Jake insisted, smoothing down his suit. It looked fine. Cougar had ironed it himself because Jake left it in a pile on the floor every time he wore it. Cougar couldn't help that Jake in a suit turned him on. Jake could certainly learn how to use an iron...scratch that, Cougar was partial to their little apartment, and Jake attempting to use an iron could ruin that.

“Let's go,” Cougar said, getting out of the car.

Jake was quick to follow, still trying to smooth out his outfit as Cougar opened the door for him and placed a hand at the small of Jake's back. Jake fidgeted as Cougar guided him up to the hostess stand. Everyone was dressed impeccably, and Cougar knew Jake felt out of place even though he was wearing a designer suit. His sister had bought it for him to wear to her wedding, and Cougar could not have been more grateful to her.

“Reservation for Suarez,” Cougar told the woman. She smiled at him sedately, and crossed the name off the list.

“Right this way, Carlos,” she said, leading them into a dimly lit dining room. Cougar kept his hand on the small of Jake's back the entire way, knowing how it calmed him.

“Suarez?” Jake whispered as they walked.

“My mother's maiden name. You would not have thought anything of it if you decided to hack every reservation list in the state...like last year,” Cougar whispered back.

Jake blushed, though the lighting didn't show it much. Jake had clearly thought he'd gotten away with that, but Cougar always knew.

“Is it a good surprise?” Cougar asked as they were seated in a secluded corner.

“Yeah, this is a pretty good surprise,” Jake told him. Cougar patted the ring in his pants pocket once they were both seated and handed wine lists.

“Is this a strictly no cheap beer sort of establishment?” Jake asked, sounding worried. Cougar rolled his eyes.

“I will order the wine,” Cougar promised. Jake hated ninety percent of wines, and he was no good at picking the ones he actually enjoyed. Cougar had a lot of practice navigating Jake's weird tastes in alcohol—and everything else for that matter—and he could find something Jake would enjoy even on the most bizarre lists.

When the waiter came by, Jake was rambling to himself about wanting to try six different meals—none of which would go well together. Cougar was just watching him with a smile. He already knew what he was getting, and he knew what Jake was going to get though he'd never say that to Jake.

Cougar ordered a bottle of a red wine that sounded about as eclectic as Jake's palate, and Jake didn't even look up at the stoic waiter.

“Do you think I should do the duck or the beef thing? Oh, should we get snailies? We don't go crazy with fancy French restaurants very often. We should definitely get some escargot,” Jake insisted.

“No.”

“What do you mean no?” Jake asked, sounding offended that Cougar wouldn't want to eat snails.

“Ecuador, January of 2011,” Cougar said, and left it at that.

Jake made a thoughtful expression for a good thirty seconds before going a little green. “Oh God, I think my mind blocked that out completely. Why would you remind me of that?”

“Because you wanted to order snails,” Cougar said quietly. Jake blanched further at the word.

“Caviar?” Jake suggested instead, though it sounded far less enthusiastic.

“No.”

“I'm not going to ask because if there is a repressed memory attached to that one, I don't want to remember it,” Jake said, putting his menu down and giving Cougar a dopey smile. Jake may have been dressed in a fancy suit, but his hair still stuck up and his glasses were still tinted yellow. Cougar wouldn't have it any other way. “I checked out the dessert tray on the way over,” Jake whispered after a few minutes of silence.

Cougar glanced up at him.

“They have chocolate covered strawberries. I know how much you like those...”

“I can make my own,” Cougar insisted. He could, and he did fairly often when the strawberries were big and ripe at the supermarket.

“Oh, okay. Just thought you might like to know,” Jake told him. Cougar gave him a considering look before closing his menu.

Cougar placed his order and Jake's when the waiter returned. He smiled when Jake's mouth dropped open. “How did you know?”

Cougar grinned, proud of himself for having guessed correctly. “I know you.”

That made Jake smile, and suddenly he was telling Cougar all sorts of statistics about partnerships and relationships. He listed data about long term success and child development. Cougar nodded along, completely fascinated by the way Jake's mind worked.

Cougar excused himself to the bathroom as Jake was enjoying his meal. He caught their waiter near the kitchen and slipped him the ring, telling him to bring out dessert before Jake finished his dinner. The waiter gave him an odd look, but he agreed. The man had probably handled all sorts of odd engagement requests.

Cougar went back and finished his meal as Jake flamboyantly told him all about his niece's most recent science project. Cougar smiled at him, always interested in what Jake had to say even if he didn't outwardly show it.

Jake had just stuffed his mouth with the last bite of food and was attempting to talk around it as the waiter walked over carrying a beautifully decorated plate with the dessert that Cougar had ordered.

Jake froze, giving the man a confused look. “I think you have the wrong table,” Jake told him, but the man placed it down between them and backed away.

Jake frowned, looking down at the personal sized cake. “Why's your ring in the top of the fancy cake, Cougs?” Jake asked sounding completely perplexed.

“It's for you,” Cougar said, keeping his tone even because laughing wasn't appropriate.

“Uh, no it's yours, and it shouldn't be on my dessert which I totally didn't order yet because I haven't...” Jake lowered his voice and looked around them. When he was satisfied that no one was watching, he continued, “...proposed to you yet, so we get it for _free_.” Jake had done research on it. He collected data on which places would throw in a free dessert, and just how involved the proposal had to be to warrant a free dessert. He'd sat Cougar down and explained the whole thing once, but Cougar was a little fuzzy on the logic—probably because there was no logic to it.

Cougar couldn't withhold his eye roll this time. He sighed plucking the ring off the cake and getting down onto one knee. “That is because I am proposing to you, you idiot. Will you marry me, Jake?” Cougar asked, holding up the ring.

“Oh! Shit. Oh, yeah. I will totally marry you Cougar,” Jake said loudly for everyone around them to hear. Cougar sighed, but he slid the ring onto Jake's finger anyway. Jake gave him a weird look when it fit perfectly, but he quickly went back to the dessert in front of them.

Cougar and he took turns feeding each other, but Cougar's heart wasn't in it. Even Jake's obscene noises didn't make him smile like a fool for once.

“That was a nice twist there, Cougar. Very spontaneous. I don't think they had a clue!” Jake said as they walked down the cobbled street outside the restaurant. Cougar grunted. However, when Jake nudged him in the elbow and held out the ring Cougar had given him, Cougar lost his calm. It wasn't often that he did so, but he couldn't take it in that moment.

Cougar grabbed Jake by the lapels of his expensive suit and shoved him into a little alleyway between restaurants. He crowded Jake into the brick wall and kissed him fiercely. Jake gasped, and Cougar took advantage pressing his tongue into Jake's mouth.

“Whoa, what's gotten into you. The dessert was good, but not—”

“I don't care about dessert. I care about you, and I want to marry you. The ring is yours. I'm yours,” Cougar told him, keeping Jake pinned to the wall.

“What?”

“It wasn't a lie. I was proposing to you,” Cougar said, losing some of the fury burning inside him and pressing his face into the crook of Jake's neck. He sighed, feeling defeat as Jake just stood there frozen.

After a long moment, Jake's arms came around Cougar like steel bands holding him tightly in place. “Fuck...holy fuck,” Jake said, rocking them back and forth for a moment. “You proposed to me, and I totally didn't get it. Shit, I'm an idiot,” he groaned, pressing his lips to Cougar's hair. “I want to marry you too, Cougs...like a whole fuckin' lot. I just...didn't think you'd wanna,” Jake told him.

Cougar pulled back, smiling at how big Jake's eyes looked behind his ridiculous glasses. “I'm not proposing to you again,” Cougar told him.

“Aw come one, Coug. There's an ice cream parlor right down the block. It would be sweet,” Jake whined.

“Idiota,” Cougar complained, pulling back and walking away, not before snatching the ring out of Jake's hand. Jake followed him, singing obnoxiously all the way to the ice cream parlor where Cougar proceeded to propose to him in front of about a dozen high schoolers out with their significant others. Jake was in tears and so were just about all of the teenagers. Cougar knew Jake's tears were more about the free sundae the manager offered them, but Cougar loved Jake and all of his quirks.

 


End file.
